Real Or Fake?
by gawilliams
Summary: Billy leaves Hodgins a little present in the aftermath of babysitting Michael.


_Here's another humorous short one shot dealing with the tornado episode. This one takes it's idea from Billy's comment about Hodgins not knowing a real from a fake tattoo. I hope you enjoy it. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise._

Hodgins woke up in agony. His head was pounding, and when he opened his eyes he blinked, trying to figure out what the Hell had happened. He'd been so damn pleased that Michael had been sleeping for a couple of nights that he'd offered to take Billy, that sick psycho, out for a drink to thank him. Now he was waking up, no memory of the night before, and wondering what was going on. He finally realized that he was in his living room. He struggled to sit up, his chest stinging, but he ignored it for the time being wanting nothing more than to find Angie and make sure she wasn't pissed as he'd obviously not made it to bed the night before.

"Angie?" he called out as he stumbled to their bedroom. Walking in he smiled as he saw her eating breakfast, Michael in his carry seat next to her on the bed.

Angela looked up and smiled. "Finally woke up, I see," she teased.

"I am never taking your Father out for drinks again," he swore. "My head is pounding!"

"Dad wanted you to have this," Angela said handing over an envelope to Hodgins.

Hodgins looked at it with a wary expression. Taking it, he opened the envelope and slipped out the sheet carefully. Opening it he read the quick note, his eyes widening in horror.

_You seriously need to lay off the celebratory Tequila, Son. Is this one real or fake? Till next time. Billy._

"Oh, no," he groaned, then remembered the stinging feel on his chest. Moving to the full sized mirror he gingerly pulled off his shirt, wincing at the feel. His jaw fell open when he saw the standard gauze covering, which covered most of his chest and abdomen. "**_NOOOOOOO!_**" he wailed as he pulled the thing off.

Angela came over and looked at the new body art. She gasped. "Oh, Hell no!" she said with a dark look at Hodgins. "We are **_not_** having sex again until **_that_** one is removed!"

There staring right back at them was a large grinning tattooed image of their son's head with the words _**Daddy's Boy**_ in calligraphy underneath. The kids head had on a similar covering that Billy wore.

Hodgins grasped at the one remaining straw he had left. "Wait!" he told her. "He said it might be fake!" he said shoving the note in her hands. He rushed into the shower and turned on the water, hopping in when the water was hot enough, ignoring the searing pain on his chest. He scrubbed for all he was worth, hissing in pain. Looking down he was unbelievably relieved to see that it was washing off. That sick sadist had had someone ink it on, and use needles to prick his skin enough to make it seem real!

Angela was seriously considering calling her dad and giving him an earful. There was no way on Earth she was going to have sex with the face of her baby son smiling down on her when she and Hodgie got busy! She was just about to pick up the phone when she heard an elated, Hallelujah like shout come from the bathroom.

"_**It's a Fake! Thank you God!**_"

She smiled. She'd let her dad off the hook this time, but if her Hodgie ever came home with a tattoo courtesy of Billy, she would make her Father know just what kind of a protective lioness he'd brought into the world. A few minutes later Hodgie emerged from the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Angie, I know you love your Dad and all, but can I have that sick nutbar arrested?" he demanded. "I can call Booth and we can have that psycho's sorry ass in jail in an hour!"

"No," she told him. "Don't worry, if he ever gives you another _**real**_ tattoo, I will be the first one kicking down his door."

Hodgins stomped off. Great. Just great. He needed to let that demented nut mutilate him again before he could seek some justice! Now how messed up was that? The man almost seriously messes up his sex life and nothing happens to him? Hodgins was definitely going to have a talk with Caroline and Booth about this shit. For now, though, it was his day for diaper duty, so he was going to go get himself psyched for that bit of joy. He'd call Booth on the sly when Angie took a nap. Yep. Billy was going down for sure!

_A/N: Well, there we have another day of Hodgins in a foul mood after a run in with Billy. I hope you enjoyed this fun little one. Happy Holidays. Gregg._


End file.
